I think I may have mentioned it before, but my word from the Lord this year was faith.
Last night we had some wires from the local power company, Tanesco, catch on fire and cause a total black out for our house. After calling in our concerns to the power company and even hearing from our landlord at midnight, I was Skyping with my sister, Kate, and talking about some lessons that I had been learning through the past couple of weeks and months. I talked a bit about reading Jonah last night and how Jonah 4:2 had led me back to one of our memory verses this past month, Exodus 34:6 and reminded me about my God that is slow to anger and full of enduring love and faithfulness. I joked with Kate that it sounded like a movie quote, but neither of us could place it at the time. It was 1 in the morning for me, so I'm not surprised.
Today, we have had several Tanesco technicians come and look at our problem. They all seem to know what is wrong, and what needs to be done, they leave saying they need parts and then someone else has come and the process starts over again. It's 2 in the afternoon and we're still in a black out. We've run the generator twice now to keep the fridge and chest freezer cold and to recharge our batteries so that we can keep our fans on. Thankfully, it's an overcast day and hasn't been too warm.
When I finished up school with the kids and talking to the last set of fundis that were out to the house, I set the kids up with some supplies and an Usborne science book and came into my bedroom for some much needed Bible and prayer time. I opened to my bookmark in the Psalms and began to read Psalm 89. I found myself underlining the words lovingkindness and faithfulness 7 times each in just 52 verses. Then I prayed and sang to the Lord.
I was reminded of last night in Jonah and then flipped back a page or so in my Bible to Psalm 86:15 and again found a reference to Exodus 34:6. Lord, what are you trying to remind me of? I know you are faithful, "full" of faith. I know you love me and are kind. As I pray to know you more, Lord, as I pray that you will change my heart to want what you want, I am convicted of the fact that I am not always "full" of faith, or kind and loving in my approach to others, that I am not slow to anger - in fact, I can spark rather rapidly. Was my word for the year about trusting and having faith that the Lord will provide all my needs and direct our path in a time of transition and upheaval? Is it about recognizing the character of the Father...OR, is it for me to do some more self reflection and remind myself that if I truly believe I am made in the image of God, that I should be showing more of these characteristics, more of the time.
He keeps bringing these things to mind to build my faith, to remind me that He knows me, He knows my weaknesses. I need to trust in the Father God who is slow to anger, even when I am difficult to be around. I need to remember that He is faithful, even when I am a ping pong ball and don't know which way to go. I want to recognize that He is the Father who is full of love and kindness to me, even when I'm grumpy and being a Jonah that doesn't want to do what I know I should do....
At the end of the Jonah story, he is so grumpy that the people of Ninevah were still forgiven. God reminds him that just like Jonah would have compassion on the plant that was offering him shade and was shriveled up by the sun and heat, how much more compassion and lovingkindness will the Lord have on those that repent, on those people that are made in His image.
A concurrent thought about lovingkindness then came to mind...."Love is patient, love is kind..." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. As I went through the list in my mind, I stopped at "keeps no record of wrongs" and I wanted to turn it to the positive, "keeps a record of all the good things"...am I thankful for all that the Lord, in his faithfulness and lovingkindness has given me? Do I keep a good record of it, or do I just write it in my journal and then forget it after a week or two?
The quote from the movie, "The Princess Bride" is what Kate and I should have remembered...
"Faithfulness, Madam, your enduring faithfulness. Now tell me truly, when you found out he was gone, did you get engaged to your prince that same hour or did you wait a week out of respect for the dead?"
Do I have enduring faithfulness? When it appears that my Prince, my Knight in Shining Armor,
my plan, or my Father is gone, do I immediately move on to the next thing or do I stop and wait...pray....remind myself that I am made in the image of my Father God and He is faithful to complete this good work of grace in me (Phil 1:6 and 1 Thes 5:24) and that I also will be faithful in return? I want to be!
